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THE RIGHT AND ORDERLY NOTEBOOK OF SADFAEL THE MONK

  Well, what a turn of events! Most surprising. My fortunes have changed to such a degree that I can only assume it is God Himself who has rewarded me for the successful completion of my quest. There can be no time for complacency though, despite my most enviable situation. I must make sure I enter into my new task with the view that it is just as important, though admittedly more sedate, as was my battle with the eternal enemy.

  Having spent a day and a night in the nineteenth century I twiddled with my bracelet as Father Bwop had shown me. Immediately the air began to swim before my eyes and before I could mutter the Lord’s Prayer I found myself back in the catacombs beneath Canterbury Cathedral! After the Father and Geoffrey had questioned me exhaustively I was allowed to rest some more, having already handed back the lost treasures of Bramfield Church. The mission had been a complete success! With my incantation I had returned the Devil’s soul back to the pits from whence it came and his human manifestation had been locked up, with the key thrown away.

  In reward for this a representative of the Holy Hierarchy told me I had a choice to make: I could either be taken back once and for all to my own time and resume my life where I had left it or, if I preferred, I could stay in this current period, where they would allow me to take on the mantle and responsibilities of a vicar! If this was to be my preferred option, I was told, they would give me the freedom to choose whichever parish I wanted to oversee.

  In their wisdom they knew that this was a huge decision for me to make and were patient enough to allow me three days to make up my mind. After a further night of humble prayer (and sleep upon a lovely thick, soft mattress with duck downed pillows) and then another and then another, all the while being fed like a King at court, I finally requested that I stay in order to continue the Lord’s work in these rather colourful, exciting times! To keep my humility however, lest my mind run away with me, I asked not for my own diocese, but wondered if it would be possible if I could share Bramfield with the Reverend Pinball, as we had got on so well together.

  The Church assented to this, which made me smile as broadly for their kindness as the Lord Jesus must have smiled at Mary, as she soothingly anointed his brow. I could not be made any more happy than by teaming up with my old friend again – or so I thought, but alas it was not to be, because when I arrived in the village I found that Gawdley had vanished!

  On hearing the news that I was to rejoin them once again he had become incredulous and told the parishioners – somewhat moodily, I have been informed – that he was off to South America, wherever that may be! No one has seen or heard from him since. Oh well, I will just have to look after the place by myself until he returns.

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